NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
