they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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