I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
