I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Randomize
