dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
