you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
