dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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