Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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