I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
