Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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