dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
