he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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