woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
