I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
