Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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