why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
sarcasm needs its own font
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
