i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
