Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
