And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Randomize
