The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
