Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize