hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
