sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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