All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
