Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
