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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
This is classic penis vs brain.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
