every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
third nipple confirmed
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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