theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Vodka?
Forever.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
