It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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