This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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