And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
