i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
