I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
