Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
