He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
