Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
