i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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