you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
