3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
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