ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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