I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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