Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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