Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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