That's intense
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Randomize