The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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