You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
