Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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