Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
