I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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