I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
