Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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