Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
