Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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