i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Naked. naked and bneed help.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
