doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
