nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
