dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
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