The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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