i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
