Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize