how can u be prego again
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
