I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Randomize