HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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