guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize