maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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